Was it Opposite Day?

I'm the parent of a teenager, so their natural bipolarity should not surprise me.  However, over and over I have experienced this phenomenon of students, who I swore hated me last year, coming to visit me and hug me and telling me how much they miss my class this year.  In fact, of all of my challenging students from last year, all apparently developed some kind of revisionist amnesia except for one (and by the way, I love to smile brightly at her in the hall and say hello).  My 7th period ladies who made me crazy, come by to see me at least once a day.  The boys who slept in my class, came late, and generally refused to accept learning without a fight, all come and give me hugs and high fives like I'm a long-lost relative.  I asked one of my former 7th Period ladies about it at Friday Night's Football game. 

I think my most jaw dropping, head-scratching experience came last week with a student I will call Andrea.  Andrea is a big girl and comes off mean as a snake.  She carries herself in a way that makes it clear that no one should mess with her.  Andrea told me to "F... off" at least three times before Christmas break.  One time, she threw such a fit after I asked her to spit her gum out that I had to have our SRO (School Resource Officer--a police officer assigned to security detail at our school) come in.  She refused to move even for him and ended up suspended for a few days.  She was categorically unlikeable, never participated, often slept and frequently gave me dirty looks.

However, I always greeted Andrea at the door with a smile, was encouraging and helpful even when she wasn't receptive to it. I got her extra help on the SOL and when she didn't pass it, I told her that I knew how hard she worked and that I felt confident she could pass it next time.  At the end of the year, she was borderline between passing and failing and I worked with her until she got everything made up and passed (barely).  Never once did she crack a smile or in any way show that she appreciated any of it.

Last week, I was eating lunch in my room when Andrea came in with a friend, gave me a big hug and told her friend I was her "favorite teacher ever".  I was stunned, trying to figure out if she was trying to play some kind of joke on me.  Then she came by again the next day, this time alone and told me all about her classes.  She came by again today, walking through my door singing cheerfully "Hi Favorite Teacher!"  Finally, I couldn't control myself anymore and said "Andrea, I am really surprised to hear you say that because I honestly thought you did not like me last year."  She looked completely shocked and said, "Miz Nilknarf!  Why did you think that?!"  I responded, "Well, there were several incidents where you were very upset with me and told me to 'F off'."

Andrea's face softened and I got a glimpse of the sweet child she must have been before whatever happened to make her so hard.  "Ms. Johnston, I didn't hate you!  I was just angry!  Not at you...at everything.  I still get angry sometimes.  I've already been suspended this year because I got angry and cussed at Mr. B.  But really, you were the only teacher who I really thought actually cared about me."

My God. 

For all that these kids are rude, disrespectful, lazy, and sometimes downright unlikeable, each one of them is truly just a kid that needs someone to care about them.  I have no idea what this poor child's situation is at home, but obviously it has not been an easy road for her.  I ended last year saying that if  my students had learned nothing else and remembered me with disdain, at least I never compromised in my goal of teaching them how to be responsible, thoughtful, respectful, productive Citizens of the World.

In the end, isn't this what teaching is truly about?  Of course, I want my students to succeed academically, pass the SOL, learn to be great writers, become avid readers and go on to college and have successful careers.  However, if I can make them feel like they matter, is that not valuable?  I need to hold onto that thought when I have a day like yesterday, where I had a girl-fight in my classroom and ended up having Daniel removed from my class and suspended!

MizNilknarf 2.0

Smooth. 

I would describe my first week back as smooth.  When I compare this week to the first week of last year, it is like night and day.  I have had a great week and am so glad to be back among the familiar faces of  my students and teacher friends.  The vibe is very different--Admin has put out many new initiatives, plus we have many new, young, enthusiastic teachers (i.e., they still wake up in the morning thinking "I'm going to make a difference today!").  I was that teacher a year ago and my fall from idealist to realist was a difficult, but important one. 

Just a few things that are different for me this year:

1.  I have confidence.  I've done this, and while there is always room for improvement, I did it well last year and I know that I want to continue teaching.  It also means that I don't take anything a student does, personally.

2.  I made the expectations clear Day One and continue to review them.  I made the mistake last year of assuming that the students knew how to behave.  Silly me!  Another thing I figured out is that students have seven classes.  That means seven sets of rules and expectations.  That would be hard to keep straight for anyone.  So we will review expectations daily until I am sure they've got it. 

3.  I am no longer shocked by student behavior.  It's amazing my chin wasn't skinned up from dropping to the floor so many times my first year.  I am much more in control of myself, which means I am more in control of them. 

4.  I am more proactive.    My 7th period this year is very similar to last year's 7th period.  Ironically, I came to really enjoy those kids, but only after I figured out how to manage them.  I remember last year about 3 weeks in, when I finally lost my cool and yelled "SHUT! UP!"  There was stunned silence for a minute and then....laughing.  This year, I started with incentives (such as raffle day) right away to encourage good behavior.  For example, we had a fire drill today.  I know how students loved to dawdle on their way back.  I told them the first ten students back in the room would get raffle tickets and the ones who didn't come back in a reasonable amount of time would be written up.  I did just that.  Ten kids got raffle tickets; two kids got a written warning and a phone call home. 

5.  My class is more rigorous this year.  While my kids ended up doing well on the SOLs, I think I was too easy on them.  It felt like pulling teeth to get them to do any work, so I think I dumbed it down a bit.  I'm not doing that this year.  I made them start five paragraph essays on Day 2. 

I'll end this post with a story about Daniel, whom I can already tell is going to be a challenge this year.  The first day, Daniel was loud and disruptive from the time the bell rang.  I finally pulled him into the hall and told him his behavior was unacceptable and that he could settle down and rejoin us or I would call an administrator.  He opted to come back in.  He kept demanding to go to the bathroom and finally when he had finished his work, I wrote him a pass.  Twenty minutes later an administrator returned Daniel after he was found wandering the halls.  I asked Daniel to stay back after class and instead, he ran off.  I wrote him up, called his mother and left a message and then talked to an administrator and a few other teachers who said he'd frequently been in trouble last year.

Before the bell rang, I saw him in the hall lingering before coming in my room.  I called him over--I could feel him bracing himself for being chewed out.  Instead I said, "Daniel, what do you want to do after graduation?"

He responded, "Go to college."  I then told him that if he wanted to go to college then he needed to pass my class as well as the SOL. I told him that his behavior the day before was going to get in the way of his goals.  I informed him that I had given him a written warning the day before and that if I had any trouble that day, he was going into another classroom.  I said all of this in a very calm voice.  He wasn't perfect in class, but his behavior was markedly better than the day before. 

As Sister Pollard said, "My feets is tired, but my soul is rested."  I left the building today with a week behind me, feeling confident and excited about the year to come.  This is a hard job, but it really is worth it.




 

Dear Parents...

Dear Parents,

Tomorrow your children will become my children for the next ten months.  Please believe that I want them to be successful as much as (or in some cases maybe more than) you do.  Here are some simple things you can do to help your child:

1.  Ask questions.  Ask them about school, not just about academics, but about their friends, their interests, their teachers.  School is by far the largest and most influential part of their lives--what happens there matters.

2.  Ask their teacher questions.  It takes only a minute to drop an email to your child's teacher that says "How are things going?".  Trust me, the teacher will appreciate your interest!  This goes double for if your child has something going on that may interfere with school.  If there has been a death in the family, a change in the household, your child has been very sick--let me know and I will work with him while he gets through it.

3.  Be your child's advocate.  If something isn't going well for your child, it is important that you address it immediately.  This runs the spectrum from difficulty with a particular class, to bullying, to getting tested for learning disabilities.

4.  If I contact you, understand that it's because I care about your child and his education, not because I am "picking on him".  Try to listen and be objective.  No one wants to get "that phone call".  It's embarrassing, infuriating and difficult not to take personally.  However, understand that when it comes to success in school, your child is often his own worst enemy.  If you aren't insisting that he do his work and behave in a respectful manner at home, then why should he do it in school?

5.  Don't make excuses for your child.  Ultimately one of our jobs is to prepare your children for the real world.  In the real world, everyone is accountable for their choices and this lesson should begin in school and at home. 

6.  Don't make excuses for yourself.  It is extremely easy to find out exactly how your child is doing in school.  If you have computer access, you can find it out in seconds.  Make it your business to know so there won't be any surprises come report card day. 

7.  Model respect at home.  If you want your child to treat people with respect, you must treat your child with respect.  I have seen so many angry, damaged children with low self-esteem.  Your relationship with your child is the model for every relationship he will have for the rest of his life.

8.  School supplies.  Buy them.  Right away.  Don't tell me you can't afford $3 in school supplies when your kid has a cell phone, acrylic nails and $100 tennis shoes.  If you truly can't afford them, there are options, but it's not my job to figure them out.

9.  Say thank you to your child's teacher.  I can live on a kind word for weeks.  Every email I have ever gotten with a thank you, I save.  Every kind word, I hold close to my heart.  We don't do this job for the money--this job is a calling.  A acknowledgement of how hard we work is so appreciated.

10.  If you can, send something in.  This happens all the time in elementary school, but not in upper grades.  The school provides the desks and the rooms.  Everything else, from the decorations on the bulletin boards to the kleenex on our desks, come from our pockets.  Send in a box of kleenex and some hand sanitizer every once in awhile and we will love you forever!

11.  Help your child to understand that it doesn't matter if he "likes" me or not.  It is another great lesson to learn that in life that we will always have to deal with people in positions of authority that we don't like or who do things that we don't agree with.  How many bosses have you liked?   Bottom line, it is not a reason to be disrespectful or blow off the work.   If you do, you are only hurting yourself.

12.  Make sure they have breakfast and lunch.  I know, I know, my kids tell me "I'm not hungry" too!  See this is where you have to actually be the parent and do the hard work of making them do something they don't want to do/care about because its whats best for them.  Throw them a granola bar before they walk out the door at minimum.  Make sure they have lunch or money for lunch time.  I can't even begin to teach these kids when they are hungry.

13.  There are some clothes that are not appropriate for school.  Yes, yes, I know its a crummy way to start the day telling your daughter she can't go to school with her boobs hanging out of her shirt or your son that its not appropriate to have his pants down below his butt along with a t-shirt that says "Free Breast Exams--Ask Me How!", but it's got to be done. 

Thanks a million,

Your kid's teacher

And it Starts....

Despite a life-threatening illness, an earthquake and a hurricane, I managed to head in to school on Wednesday to belatedly begin Teacher Week.  This is the week where teachers hope that we get to work on our rooms and do lesson planning, but instead have to sit in long, boring, often pointless, meetings and trainings.  Teachers got a whopping 6 hours in their classrooms this week, assuming that we chose to stop and eat lunch, which most of us didn't. 

That said, Admin is making a concerted effort to address many of the issues that caused the mass exodus last year.  There is a new discipline program in place, that was created with the input of our teachers, including yours truly.  If (and this is a big "if") our teachers and Admin work together and are consistent, this should make a huge difference.   We also have a mentoring program that is promising.  Each teacher will be assigned a group of approximately 20 students.  We will meet every day for the first two weeks and twice monthly thereafter with a predetermined curriculum of discussion topics and activities.  One thing these kids want is attention and one thing they need is to feel that people actually care.  I will work with this same group of kids for the next three years, until they graduate.  I am hoping that the formation of positive relationships with an adult will make a big difference in our students.

Another new, and somewhat intimidating, thing that I am doing this year is teaching two "collab" classes.  These are classes that are roughly 50% average students and 50% special education students.  I will have a special education teacher in my class to assist and he happens to be one of the best.  He is also a giant football player type.  It gives me great comfort to know that for two classes, not only will I have academic suppport, but also,  no one is going to threaten me with this guy in the room! 

My room is ready to go and I think it looks great.  I arranged the seats in a "modified horseshoe" arrangement to avoid a back row.  I have three rows of three desks left, center and right.  It is bright and cheery and as my friend Mr. I said, now when a student tells me to f*@# off, it will be in a festive setting! 

Wouldn't you know that while I was getting my room ready, three students from my Infamous 7th Period came by, all smiles, greeting me with hugs, like I was their long lost best buddy.  Most astounding was that after they turned the corner another girl said (and I could hear them because speaking quietly is apparently not a skill they have ever mastered)"Is that your English teacher this year?" and one said "No, she was our teacher last year...and she was the best!"  I take it with a grain of salt and I am just glad that they didn't give me the finger in front of my mother and son...