Tuesday, April 23, 2013

A Short Play Entitled, "How You Gonna Fail Me?"


Annie:  A senior, in my 10th grade English class for the 2nd year.
Ms. T:  Guidance Counselor (or as we just call them now, "Professional Counselor")
Dr. C:  Vice Principal
Miz N:  English teacher supreme

Act I scene i:  Scene opens with teacher sitting at her desk creating rigorous and relevant lesson plans that support the 10th grade SOLs (Standards of Learning). 

Annie:  Miz N, I need to talk to you about making up my work.

Miz N:  Annie, you have not earned higher than a 50 any quarter so far.  You have barely been in class all year.  Repeated opportunities to make up missed work have been ignored.  I have tried to work with you.  It is time for you to accept that you will not be passing this class.

Annie:  But your class is the only one that I'm not passing and because of you I'm not going to graduate!

Miz N:  That is really too bad that you did not do the work to ensure on time graduation.  To pass you would not be fair to everyone else who has come to class and done their work.

Annie:  But I'm not like everyone else!  I gots kidney stones and depression!

Miz N:  I have tried to work with you and you have made no effort. 

<student walks out of classroom and slams the door>

Scene ii:  Counselor's office

Miz N:  As I have told you, Annie will not be able to pass my class due to her ongoing absences and unwillingness to meet my generous deadlines to make up her work.  She claims my class is the only problem.  Is this true?

Ms. T:  No, she is failing almost all of her classes, plus she has not passed her 11th grade SOL.  She is well aware of her graduation status.  I will talk to her again.

Scene iii:  Administrator's Office

Miz N:  I would like to talk to you about Annie.  I have tried to work with her, but it looks like she is going to fail English 10 a second time.

Dr. T:  Oh, I am well aware.  She has missed 65 days of school this year.  She has seat time* to make up and came to ask me for a waiver.  I told her that since she has not made up a single hour of seat time, and continues to miss school, I'm not really inclined to be sympathetic. 

Act II:  Miz N's class, later that day.  Bell Rings.

Miz N:  Ok, projects are due, so let's get those out.

Annie <who doesn't have her project>:  I ain't stayin' here....<walks out, slams door>

Miz N: <calling security on phone>  Hello, Annie Lazy just walked out of my class.

Students:  What's her problem?

Miz N:  She's mad because she hasn't been here all year and her choices are catching up with her. 

<a few minutes later, Ms. T returns Annie to class>

Miz N:  She does not get to return to my class today after walking out and slamming the door.  She needs to go to In School Detention.  <Annie is now disrupting the class, talking to other students about how mean Miz N is for failing her for no reason.>  Annie, can you please stop disrupting the students who have chosen to stay in class and do their work today?

Annie:  How you gonna fail me?  Why you tell them I'm failing?  That ain't none of their business?

Miz N:  Annie, it is no big secret, you haven't been here all year and they know it. You need to leave with Ms. T and go to ISD.

Annie:  I heard you, you ain't gotta tell me 50 Damn Times!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene.

*Seat Time is a completely ridiculous option where a student can still possibly graduate even if they have missed more than the allowed absences (assuming they are passing their classes).  Students literally stay after school or come on Saturdays to "sit" and write essays, thus making up their absences.  The playwrite thinks that is bullshit.

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